Sheriff Laughs At ‘Dumbest’ Thieves On Earth: ‘You Can’t Make This Up’

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A pair of thieves were made famous after the romantic couple’s criminal exploits were deemed so stupid that Sheriff Grady Judd told reporters, “You know this has to be true because you can’t make this up.” The arresting officers created a hilarious meme about the couple.

Sheriff Grady Judd
Sheriff Grady Judd (Credit: Screenshot)

Criminals have a long history of making some of the stupidest mistakes, and that’s exactly what happened in Polk County, Florida when one couple’s attempt to burglarize a home turned into comedy relief for Sheriff Grady Judd.

‘We need something lighter,” Sheriff Judd told reporters at a press conference. “You know there are times on this job and career that you know it has to be true because you can’t make this up. Let me introduce you to Martin Gonzalez-Garcia. This guy isn’t able to complete college as a Rhodes Scholar. This guy may be like the dumbest person on the face of this earth.”

Sheriff Grady Judd
Sheriff Grady Judd mocks the burglars at a press conference (Credit: YouTube)

According to the New York Post, Sheriff Judd went on to explain how Gonzalez-Garcia and his girlfriend got on the sheriff’s department radar. After receiving a hang-up 911 call, deputies responded to a vacant home to find Martin Gonzalez-Garcia and his girlfriend, Ashializ Roldan-Oscasio, in the middle of a robbery. That’s when officers discovered the 911 call came from inside the home, and it was made by none other than the girlfriend, Sheriff Judd said.

Both Gonzalez-Garcia and Roldan-Oscasio, 22, were taken into custody and confessed to the burglaries. When asked about the 911 call, Roldan-Oscasio said she was hoping a deputy would help the couple “move their belongings” from the site and drop them off at the airport, where they planned to head to New York, Sheriff Judd added.

Martin Gonzalez-Garcia (left), Ashializ Roldan-Oscasio (right) (Credit: Polk County Sheriff’s Office)

“She called 911 for the purpose of having law enforcement assist (them) with moving their belongings from the house (the one they were burglarizing),” the sheriff’s office said. “And they were trying to get a ride to the airport because they wanted to go to New York for the weekend.”

“We thought she was kidding,” Sheriff Judd told reporters. “You’d have to be from New York to do something like that,” he continued, throwing in a dig at the Big Apple. Polk County deputies who assisted in the arrest mocked the thieves with a meme on Facebook, including the hashtag #NothingSaysRomanceLikeACoupleBurglingTogether.

Sheriff Grady Judd
Deputies made a meme of the arrest, which they shared on Facebook. (Credit: Polk County Sheriff’s Department)

In addition to unarmed burglary of an unoccupied residence, Roldan-Oscasio was charged with possession of drug paraphernalia and cannabis possession. She was released on a $6,000 bond. Gonzalez-Garcia, meanwhile, was hit with a slew of other charges, including criminal mischief. He remained in custody on an $8,500 bond. Making matters worse for him, Gonzalez-Garcia, 23, was quickly identified as the suspect in a break-in at a nearby Dollar Tree the previous night.

Gonzalez-Garcia was initially pointed out on surveillance footage by the store manager, who recognized him as a customer who asked about a cellphone and a job application. Sheriff Judd promised residents that Gonzalez-Garcia — who was also reportedly subject to an outstanding warrant in Cleveland, Ohio — would not return to the streets. “As inclined as New York is to not enforce the law … in Polk County, Florida, we lock you up,” Sheriff Judd declared.

Social media users weighed in on the antics surrounding the arrest. “The worst thing possible is to get caught by Sheriff Grady. Not only are you going to jail but you’re also getting roasted on TV,” posted one supporter of the sheriff. “Sheriff Grady is a national treasure,” said another viewer of the video. “This story has me laughing.”

“You gotta love this guy,” wrote another social media user. “Straight up, on point. No bollocks. Every county in America needs a Sheriff Grady.” One YouTuber can’t get enough of Sheriff Judd’s style. “The man takes a common-sense approach to crime,” he posted. “He speaks to the press and the public as if we are all his friends. I love listening to him.”