When you spend five days a week, at least eight hours a day, with a group of people at work, you often become like family. Sometimes, that family-like bond includes feuds. And, once in a while, the entire office gets to watch it unfold like it did with this passive-aggressive office note war that quickly escalated.
Most office employees have been the victim of leftover lunch theft from the building’s shared refrigerator at one time or another. It’s a nuisance and aggravating, especially when you’ve been looking forward to your tasty treat, only to find out a co-worker got to it before you did.
At one workplace, when a simple sandwich went missing from an office fridge, Tina from HR had to step in to investigate. Not only was the sandwich snatched, but the employee who was left hungry then became the victim of a passive-aggressive note war of epic — and hilarious — proportions.
It began with a simple request for the person stealing the “Turkey and Swiss with mayo on rye.” The first note asked the thief to just knock it off, reminding them and anyone contemplating doing the same that “we are all full-grown adults, not children.”
Although the victim of the lunch larceny probably never expected a response, they got one, and the fridge food feud was taken to the next level as a battle of notes began. “Dear Turkey and Swiss on Rye, I have your precious sandwich, it’s safe. For now. Put 10 dollars on the plate in the fridge or you’ll never see it undigested again,” the shocking response read. Of course, things were far from over.
In the notes that eventually went viral on the New Zealand MORE FM radio station’s Facebook page, according to Daily Mail, we see that the victim of the theft was not about to cave to the burglar’s bogus demand. Instead, they responded, “Dear Sandwich Thief, Please grow up and just return my sandwich! This is very unprofessional! If I ever find out who’s doing this I won’t hesitate to CONTACT HR!”
That’s when the thief took things to the next level, not only responding with another note, but with a note that included a photo of the precious sandwich. Again addressing the note to “Dear Turkey and Swiss,” the thief fired back with their own warning. “For every hour you continue to refuse my demands I’ll remove another bite of the sandwich,” the sandwich thief wrote, adding, “Please take this seriously. We are all professionals after all.” In response, the only thing “T-Swiss” could do is ask why.
Proving they weren’t kidding, “Sandwich Thief” posted a response with another photo. Another bite was taken. The clock was ticking on “T-Swiss.” That’s when “Tina from HR” had to step in. She wrote, “Please return the sandwich and we won’t investigate the matter any further.”
However, “Sandwich Thief” was undeterred. They wanted a free lunch. That much was obvious with how they responded to “Tina from HR.” In yet another note, the shameless thief demanded, “Buy me a pizza.” Of course, they were told “No,” but it wasn’t going to end there.
Tormenting the rightful owner of the coveted turkey sandwich, the cold and heartless thief wrote, “I’m not even going to eat it. Just gonna chew it up and spit it out,” referring to the beloved “Turkey and Swiss on Rye.” As if that wasn’t enough salt in the wound of an empty stomach, “Sandwich Thief” then asked, “How does that make you feel?” to which the thief’s victim could only answer, “You’re the worst!!”
This is when things escalate to what one would think is no return. With a lengthy note, the thief posts an image of an empty plate, proving that they have devoured the sandwich in full, leaving only crumbs as a reminder of what once was. At this point, “Tina from HR” was forced to step in again.
“Francis, we checked the printer queue and traced the requests back to your desk,” Tina wrote, indicating the thief had been successfully identified through investigative means, just as she had warned. “Could you please come to see me at your earliest convenience,” the note from HR concluded. But, shockingly, sandwich-thieving Francis had one more note to post.
The final note in the battle simply read, “I’m sorry please don’t fire me.” My, how the mighty thief had fallen. It is unknown whether the groveling worked. There is no word on whether Francis was fired for filling his belly with someone else’s food or whether “T-Swizzle” ever got a replacement “Turkey and Swiss on Rye.”
What is certain is that “Tina from HR” has her hands full, but hers is one office that will think twice before snatching someone’s snack ever again after the fall of Francis was brought about by her stellar investigative skills. Job well done, Tina. Sandwich thieves be warned — the Tinas of the world will find you, and you will pay for what you’ve done.